Butt Crack of Dawn: Trouble with the In-Laws

Butt-Crack of Dawn:

Trouble with the In-Laws

Ok, it's gettin' real in here. My dear in-laws. What are you thinking?! 6am!! 6-A-M?! You don't text people at 6am! Seriously.  It's nice to know that the sister-in-law has left Kentucky to drive home, but let's get an update at 8, huh?

No kidding, my mother-in-law starts a mass text with the family at 6am. 

Just have a private convo that early, Mom. It's cool. We won't feel left out. In fact, we'll feel downright jolly at 10am knowing that our little sister is safely making her way through Missouri. Go Tigers! But, when you start a group text a 6am, I want to hurt someone. And the only person in the vicinity is your son - think about it.

Let me mention here that Hubberkins has a very  loud train whistle alerting us every time another family member comments on the cross-country progress. If you've never had the pleasure of waking to the sound of a train whistle, allow me to describe the event:

Golden sun rays sink into the vibrant green grass. The  warm turquoise water dances with the pure white sand as a cool tropical breeze weaves through your hair. In your right hand, your favorite ice cream is piled high in a freshly-made waffle cone, and a dozen hot pretzels have been set on the towel to your left. Sigh.... 

CHOOOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the. Who's dying. Karate chop. I'm I dying? Son of a. Dahhhh!!!

It's like being hit in the head with bat that has 6 bells attached to it, thrown in a gunny sack, and then tossed into a commerical-size clothes dryer until your brain falls out. 

Not exactly the way I like to wake up.

Just remember this: 6am is reserved for nursing mothers and crack addicts. I'm neither. Let me sleep!!!  Here's a general rule: if the sun is not up, neither am I! 

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